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Puckemon
“Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the contestants had an electric challenge. The Tanukis won, or did the Dharmas? I don’t even remember. But whatever, I know that the Fish Tails lost, and they voted off Yuri, but Anderson apparently thought he was getting voted out, so he left, and Yuri stayed… What a screwed-up kid. All right, time to check in on the contestants. McLean out.” The Fish Tails are in their dorm. Tolkien is slumped onto the couch. “Why are you so sad that Anderson’s gone again? That means you get some quality time with Ari. Sounds good, eh?” says Julian, in an attempt to cheer up Tolkien. “I don’t care, man. Anderson gave me good advice on how to pick up chicks, including Ari.” says Tolkien. “Yeah, but I can give you advice, too. Ever thought of that?” asks Julian. “All right. That will work. What do you have?” asks Tolkien. “Well, first of all, don’t wear cologne. Girls don’t like cologne unless they like ugly, pompous jocks, and you’re not an ugly, pompous jock. So, yeah, no cologne. Let your pits develop a natural smell. That’s what I do, and you know Estrella loves me.” says Julian. “No, she doesn’t, but whatever, go on.” says Tolkien. “All right. Also, you can’t be too obvious. Girls think you’re creepy when you’re constantly trying to flirt with them and whatnot. So, don’t spend all of your time with the girl trying to hit on her.” says Julian. “But, that’s exactly what you do…” says Tolkien. “Fine, whatever. One more thing, ditch the cards. Girls think they’re dorky, and you don’t want to look like a nerd in front of a hot girl.” says Julian. “But I am a nerd. You know what, your advice sucks. I’m going to a more reliable source.” says Tolkien, and he walks away. “Whatever, it’s his loss…” says Julian after Tolkien is gone. “Besides, since Shawn is showering, who’s a reliable source on this team?” The scene switches to Tolkien, who’s upstairs with Roz. “All right, so ya want girl advice, eh?” says Roz. “I can help you, if you want. Hehe.” “Fine, Roz. But only because Anderson is gone, and Julian sucks at advice. What do you think? How can I impress Ari?” pleads Tolkien. “Well, first of all, you can’t. She doesn’t like you, man. But you can still try to win her over or whatever. First of all, you should wear cologne, she likes it. She thinks it smells good.” says Roz. Ari walks in to the room. “What’s going on here…?” Roz yells something extremely dirty, and Ari leaves quickly. “All right, back to girls.” says Roz. “You should try to flirt with her whenever you can, since the more you flirt, the better chance you have of winning her over. Girls like that too, unless they’re into ugly, pompous jocks.” “I’m going to kill Julian.” says Tolkien quietly. “Eh?” asks Roz. “Nothing.” says Tolkien quickly. “Also, one more thing. You gotta keep th’ cards. Ari secretly loves Luncheons and Laggins…” Roz realizes what she has just said. “Oops. Sorry. I’m an idiot.” “She does?!” screams Tolkien. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” “She’s super self-conscious about it, so don’t mention it. She has a secret stash in her backpack, though.” says Roz. “Don’t look.” Tolkien runs over to Ari’s backpack. “All right, look. But heed my warning.” says Roz. Tolkien digs through for a few seconds, then pulls out a golden, glittering card. “OH… MY… GOD.” he says loudly. “What?” yells Roz. “Ari has… the rarest card in the Devil’s Stronghold expansion pack… Oh my god, the Moss Giant… 1500 attack, 3600 defense, 30 speed. Obviously, speed isn’t its forte, hehe. But still, I want this thing so bad!” says Tolkien. “Steal it.” says Roz. "Why would I do that? I want Ari to like me, not to try and kill me!" says Tolkien. "Yeah, but it would be pretty frickin' funny." says Roz. Tolkien looks at her. "It would." says Roz. Estrella says in the confessional, "Seems that our team is a gigantic love dodecahedron. Yuri likes Shawn and Julian's pairing, while Julian likes me, and I like, er, nobody, then Tolkien likes Ari, but he also likes Roz, and Ari doesn't like Tolkien, and I have no idea about Shawn... Wow, such a screwed up team, hope I get voted off next... But then I wouldn't be with Jul-- I mean, Roz. Yeah, definitely Roz. DARN!" Yuri says in the confessional, "Seriously, if Julian and Shawn don't date in the next episode..." She pauses. "All right, this thing has taken over my personality. Time to write some inappropriate yuri fanfictions! Yeeeep! I just really hope that my secret crush on Shawn doesn't get in the wa... Wait, what did I just say? DARN!" Ari says in the confessional, "Tolkien's cute. But I don't want to date him, since he's super weird... Let me see what he does today." The scene changes to the Mini Dharmas, in their dorm. "Ugh, this crossword puzzle is so irritating." says Layla, reading a magazine. "Charles, solve it for me." "But, I don't know how to do crossword puzzles. It was the one thing I never learned." says Charles. Layla flashes him a grimace, and he takes the crossword puzzle. Charles says in the confessional, "Layla is not a nice girl." "Ooh, I love wordcross puzzles, Layla. They're soooo fun." says Isabel. Charles says in the confessional, "Isabel is a very nice girl." "Charlie, can I help you? This is so fun." says Isabel happily. "Here, it's all yours." Charles throws the crossword puzzle magazine at Isabel's face, and she topples over. Delia is jotting down notes in her notepad. Her notepad reads, "Blonde rude @#$%& must go, now. Stupid one may be a valuable ally. The butler is a tool, and Mr. Top Hat is somewhat all right." There is a puff of smoke. Kai appears next to Delia. "Whatcha doooin'?" he asks. "None of your business. Besides, why should I tell you? You can't be trusted." says Delia. "Oh, you are mistaken, I can totally be trusted. Except around my older brother. I hate him so much." says Kai. "Tell me about him," says Delia. "Now." "Well, he's